The relationship that humans and canines share has changed significantly over the years. Dogs have moved in from the backyard to our homes and have become a true part of the family. Our culture is moving toward an acknowledgment that our relationships with our dogs are very important.
We look after their well-being; we make sure they receive healthy dog food, quality medical care, and plenty of toys. We now have doggie day care, dog parks, dog clothing, and we think of them as our children.
Some dog owners feel that the relationship they enjoy with their pets is stronger than any relationship they have with their human counterparts.
The dog – human relationship has a great level of intimacy. People who enjoy an intimate and supportive relationship with their dogs will keenly grieve the loss of that animal.
Dealing with the loss of a pet can be as difficult as dealing with the loss of a human for many pet owners. The grief that often follows the passing of a beloved pet is very real and sometimes very hard for the owner to deal with. They were considered part of your family and the emotions that follow can be very debilitating.
Professional counselors report that the most popular immediate reaction after the loss of a pet is a decision to never acquire another pet so they don’t have to go through the pain all over again. A small percentage decide to to adopt another dog immediately to help fill the emptiness they feel in their household. It is recommended not to rush into choosing the next pet – take time to think over what type of pet or dog would best fit your situation and household. Give yourself time to grieve and then make a logical, thought out choice.
Typical emotional reactions to the demise of our pets are very similar to the emotions we experience with losing human loved ones. When an household pet dies suddenly, an acute feeling of guilt may follow. Owners wonder if there is something they could have done to have changed the fate of the dog. Guilt also plagues pet owners that have to put down a sick or elderly dog to end their suffering. Although putting down a pet that is failing is the most humane thing to do, it is an extremely difficult decision to make. Part of this guilt is probably a factor of our upbringing where euthanasia for humans is a crime in most states. If we are brought up to believe it is wrong for us, taking the step in our pets lives is usually riddled with the feeling that we are doing something wrong. Since they cannot communicate to us that they are in pain, we must use our own judgment as well as the professional advice of our veterinarians in this decision. Getting beyond the guilt we lay upon ourselves is probably the largest obstacle we face when getting through the grieving process.
The death of a pet is emotionally overwhelming. It is normal for pet owners to have trouble sleeping and they experience a loss of appetite for weeks after the death. Every individual will have their own way of grieving. When we’re able to rejoice in memories of them and can recognize how our relationship with them changed us for the better, those are signs that the grief is starting to resolve. How long it takes to get this point depends on the individual.
Suggestions for Coping with the Loss
Constructing some type of memorial for the pet may help some to come to terms with their loss. Often family’s will construct an area or have an engraved stone in a garden area helps with coming to terms with their grief. You can find pet memorial stones on the internet such as – Adirondack Pet Memorial. Some cemeteries are even expanding their offering to include plots for pets which is an idea that appeals to many pet owners.
Sometimes bereavement can last well beyond when the grieving process should have resolved. Called a pathological grief response, this happens when a person can’t get past his or her grief even though a long time has passed. Sometimes the loss of a pet triggers other types of mental distress.
The symptoms of pathological grief are similar to those of the early stages of normal grief, such as crying, desperate yearning for the pet, difficulty acknowledging the death, impaired social and occupational functioning, and an inability to concentrate. A mental health professional can help resolve this type of grief.
Finding Support
Find a network of supportive people who can listen to sympathize with you during this difficult time. Having an abundant social and emotional support the grieving process much more tolerable. Family members and friends who knew your pet are bound to be sympathetic and easy to talk to. Coworkers who also are pet lovers will also be understandable to your situation. Talking to other people but a verity gone through the process is also comforting. Many veterinary hospitals, shelters, and universities provide pet loss hotlines. You can talk with professionals who been trained to help others cope with the loss of a pet. The same organizations may also be able to offer support groups. Your veterinarian who is also another resource and may be able to recommend a local support group.
Helping Others Cope With the Loss of a Pet
Helping others deal with their loss is similar to helping people deal with the loss of a fellow human. These people need time and space to mourn someone who was important to them and played such a big part in their lives and they need to know that their grief is normal and understood by others. Friends and family members can help by encouraging the bereaved to talk about their animal and may direct them to a supportive resource like a support group as mentioned above.
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